So there was a Democratic debate the other night. And, before I go any further, just note that I am a Democrat, and will be happy if any of these candidates beats Donald Trump.
However. Now that we're down to ten front-runners, something in my mind said, "Hey. You just watched the Dark Crystal series on Netflix and are clearly a disturbed person. Why not match the candidates to the Skeksis?"
So I did. You're welcome.
The choices are based on the ten Skeksis of the movie, and assigned based on last night's debate. Here's a handy visual guide for remembering them:
And of course, the nightmare-fuel:
Let's start there:
The Emperor. Bernie Sanders.
With his death-rattle voice it was ever more clear that Sanders is the mighty fallen. Actually, I am hoping that his decrepitude put the fear in his supporters the same way the death of the Emperor scared me as a child. Since he announced I've been worried about giving him any power.
The Chamberlain. Joe Biden.
"Pleeeeeeease: make peace?" Talking about Ohio and trying to get everyone to get along, if Biden gets into the White House he may be as ineffectual as Obama was in squandering a super majority. Half-measures, like his healthcare or his defense of working with segregationists, remind one of the wheedling, unpleasant, Chamberlain.
The General. Kamala Harris.
Harris hasn't found her voice yet, which is bothering folks, it seems. In the first debate she was personal, the second on the offensive, and the third, this past week, trying to lighten up and tell jokes. These shifts are reminiscent of the General, who can go from ecstatic to wrathful in moments. But serious business.
The Scientist. Elizabeth Warren
The most clever of the Skeksis, the one who actually gets things done, the one who can summon strength from the Crystal but who the others, unaccountably, consider weak. She has the same aspect of frustration with her plans that the Scientist shares, in having to get results for a bunch of undeserving...
The Ritual Master. Julian Castro.
Someone said that Castro was built in a lab to be a Vice President. The Ritual Master has a certain gravitas and presence, and he stands out among the Skeksis, as Castro stands out on stage, but the power, like the Vice Presidency, is more shadow and illusion than real.
The Gourmand. Cory Booker.
Since Booker was the only candidate who got a question about food (his vegan lifestyle) during the debate, it seems appropriate that he be the Gourmand - even if he is the physical antithesis of the corpulent Skeksis.
The Scroll Keeper. Beto O'Rourke.
O'Rourke got some needed coverage for his campaign, due to the deference of his rivals after the response to the El Paso shooting. The Scroll Keeper fits, then, because he doesn't do a lot, or really have much of a purpose, but he stands out in the field of Skeksis all the same. Last night Beto stood out, although I doubt his campaign has much of a future.
The Ornamentalist. Pete Buttigieg.
The most youthful-looking of the Skeksis, and not otherwise particularly memorable. I don't think the Ornamentalist has hardly any lines in the movie, nor did Buttigieg.
The Treasurer. Andrew Yang.
From some old source material: "the Treasurer counted gifts, not time." He is also described as having difficulty communicating, which certainly fits Yang. I doubt he has much time left.
The Slave Master. Amy Klobuchar.
I do not like Klobuchar, and so she fits, for me, the description of the least well-known of the Skeksis, the Slave Master, who "remains evilly silent most of the time, except for occasional sneers and hisses." Klobuchar, of course, is not actual *evil* - none of the candidates are. She would be a far superior President to Trump. But she's my least favorite.
However. Now that we're down to ten front-runners, something in my mind said, "Hey. You just watched the Dark Crystal series on Netflix and are clearly a disturbed person. Why not match the candidates to the Skeksis?"
So I did. You're welcome.
The choices are based on the ten Skeksis of the movie, and assigned based on last night's debate. Here's a handy visual guide for remembering them:
And of course, the nightmare-fuel:
Let's start there:
The Emperor. Bernie Sanders.
With his death-rattle voice it was ever more clear that Sanders is the mighty fallen. Actually, I am hoping that his decrepitude put the fear in his supporters the same way the death of the Emperor scared me as a child. Since he announced I've been worried about giving him any power.
The Chamberlain. Joe Biden.
"Pleeeeeeease: make peace?" Talking about Ohio and trying to get everyone to get along, if Biden gets into the White House he may be as ineffectual as Obama was in squandering a super majority. Half-measures, like his healthcare or his defense of working with segregationists, remind one of the wheedling, unpleasant, Chamberlain.
The General. Kamala Harris.
Harris hasn't found her voice yet, which is bothering folks, it seems. In the first debate she was personal, the second on the offensive, and the third, this past week, trying to lighten up and tell jokes. These shifts are reminiscent of the General, who can go from ecstatic to wrathful in moments. But serious business.
The Scientist. Elizabeth Warren
The most clever of the Skeksis, the one who actually gets things done, the one who can summon strength from the Crystal but who the others, unaccountably, consider weak. She has the same aspect of frustration with her plans that the Scientist shares, in having to get results for a bunch of undeserving...
The Ritual Master. Julian Castro.
Someone said that Castro was built in a lab to be a Vice President. The Ritual Master has a certain gravitas and presence, and he stands out among the Skeksis, as Castro stands out on stage, but the power, like the Vice Presidency, is more shadow and illusion than real.
The Gourmand. Cory Booker.
Since Booker was the only candidate who got a question about food (his vegan lifestyle) during the debate, it seems appropriate that he be the Gourmand - even if he is the physical antithesis of the corpulent Skeksis.
The Scroll Keeper. Beto O'Rourke.
O'Rourke got some needed coverage for his campaign, due to the deference of his rivals after the response to the El Paso shooting. The Scroll Keeper fits, then, because he doesn't do a lot, or really have much of a purpose, but he stands out in the field of Skeksis all the same. Last night Beto stood out, although I doubt his campaign has much of a future.
The Ornamentalist. Pete Buttigieg.
The most youthful-looking of the Skeksis, and not otherwise particularly memorable. I don't think the Ornamentalist has hardly any lines in the movie, nor did Buttigieg.
The Treasurer. Andrew Yang.
From some old source material: "the Treasurer counted gifts, not time." He is also described as having difficulty communicating, which certainly fits Yang. I doubt he has much time left.
The Slave Master. Amy Klobuchar.
I do not like Klobuchar, and so she fits, for me, the description of the least well-known of the Skeksis, the Slave Master, who "remains evilly silent most of the time, except for occasional sneers and hisses." Klobuchar, of course, is not actual *evil* - none of the candidates are. She would be a far superior President to Trump. But she's my least favorite.
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