Wednesday, April 9, 2008

100; This is the End

Okay folks. So now that college is winding down I've taken a look at some Bennington alumnae. Here they are, some famous, some not, some interesting, and some dull.

Bios:

James Bloom, Professor of English, Muhlenberg College, PA. Author of four books.

Dick D. Zigun, Founder of the Coney Island Circus Sideshow, "The Mayor of Coney Island", also playwright and freelance editorialist.

Sue Temple, Viola Instruction, Fort Collins High School.

Bret Easton Ellis, Generation X author of American Psycho, Rules of Attraction, and Less Than Zero.

Helen Frankenthaller, post-modern abstractionist Painter and Sculptor.

Diza Sauers, Assistant Director, Business Communication, University of Arizona.

Michael Pollan, Professor of Journalism at UC Berkley, author of The Omnivore's Dilemma.

Elizabeth S. Niebling, Reference Librarian, Phillips Exeter Academy.

Timothy Daly, Actor, voice of Superman on the animated series.

Roshan Houshmand, Artist.

Roger Kimball, Editor and Publisher of The New Criterion.

Susan A. Wilt, Assistant Professor of Clinical Epidemiology, Mailman School of Public Health.

Andrea Dworkin, Writer and Feminist, anti-pornography activist.

Stephen Fowlkes, Artist and Professor, woodsculptures.

Merce Cunningham, Choreographer and Dancer.

Holland Taylor, Actress, "Two and a Half Men", "Legally Blonde".

Susan Crile, Professor at Hunter College, NYC, and Printmaker.

Carol Channing, Actress and Singer, "Hello, Dolly!" and "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes".

Jennifer H. Mieres, Director of Nuclear Cardiology, NYU Medical Center.

Calvin Coolidge, 30th President of the United States.

Joan Tower, Composer, multiple Grammy winner.

Sally Smith, Educator, founder of The Lab School.

Kathy Halbreich, Exhibition Director, NYMOMA.

Alethea Root, Academy Award-winning Production Designer.

Edison Arantes do Nascimento, "Pele", Soccer player.

Thom Yorke, Singer, Radiohead.

Ieoh Ming Pei, Architect, pioneer of Modernism.

Jerry Fallwell, Televangelist and Pastor.

George Carlin, Comedian, winner of multiple Grammys.

Willard Smith, Jr., Rapper and Actor, "Independence Day", "I Am Legend".

Steve Jobs, CEO and Co-Founder, Apple, Inc.

Betty Grable, Actress, Singer, Dancer and Pin-Up.

Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States.

John Brown, Abolitionist.

Juan Ponce De Leon, Conquistador.

Jeanne-Antoinette Poisson, "Madame de Pompadour", Courtesan.

Murasaki Shibu, Author, The Tale of Genji.

Nicodemus, Pharisee.

Johnny Cash, Musician, "At Folsom Prison".

Koko, Gorilla.

Your Mother, Whore.

As this will be be my last foreseeable column I'll be keeping it up for a while. I hope all y'all who read these things enjoyed them. I enjoyed writing them. If you are feeling deprived of columns you can always catch a Bathroom Monologue (http://johnwiswell.blogspot.com) or my sister's fledgling entertainment news blog (http://feedmeacat.blogspot.com). And of course, there is the archive of my columns at (http://pokingbadgerswithspoons.blogspot.com). Thank you, Google.

Thanks for taking the time to read my work. Be well.

Friday, April 4, 2008

99; And now a word from the Internet

"Hokay, so. This is the world..."

"I'm a shaaark!"

"A magical leopluradon."

"It's not like a truck..."

"BARBARIC!"

"Doug what you did was rape."

"Lobster's made of Meat!"

"Simpsons did this chart??"

"We like the mooon..."

"If I'm not avail you taco nazi!"

Garfield: "..."

"All your base are belong to us."

"Sexy construction worker! ...And Frog."

"I has a bucket."

"Ohio!"

"IMA CHARGIN' MY LASER!"

"It's a no-no. And you like it."
"n00b"

"Pwned"

"Kitten Huffing."

"John Freeman walked real fast..."

"And yes, this is a written threat."

"It's me! Every Girl Ever."

"Hello. I am Prince Ngongo from Nigeria..."

"Joker pulls boner of the year!"

"Porkchop sandwiches!"

"Sworded."

and

"Fap."