More Time

You want to know another way to waste your time?

Most of you are probably thinking 'No, not really, mate. I'm quite alright.' But you're not. You constantly waste your life. You should stopping reading this right now. No good will come of it, unless you consider it as just another time waster.

And here you are still reading. Really, the information to be provided is going to nothing special. You already know it.

You might just be reading to expose the apparent contradiction in the fact that I have wasted so much time writing this. But you'd be wrong. For, you see, my writing of this piece elevates my action to one of creation. Whereas your reading it can only be a passive exercise.

So here's how you can waste some time. Next time you have to travel somewhere go by bus, car, or boat instead of plane. If your destination is the store five blocks away walk.

Stand in line for a movie or show you have no intention of seeing. Collect a stack of books at the library, and then reshelve them. YouTube.

Cook inedible food. Something that takes a lot of time, and is utterly nonconsumable.

Actually start counting grains of sand on the beach. Go out to the country and try and make an accurate starchart. Endeavor to make your entire home dust free.

Call for tech help when you don't have a problem. Talk to your telemarketer.

Purposefully pick the longest line at the supermarket to buy a stick of gum.

If you do these things, trust me, you'll appreciate your time. Most of these are active pursuits. This is to show that even an active pursuit, rather than a passive one (compulsive email checking, television, etc) can be a total waste of time. There is nothing sacred in 'activity' rather than 'passivity'. Both can be life-affirming, both can be mind-numbing and worthless, utterly valueless, wastes of one's life.

So you just need to capitalize upon what is meaningful for you. Whatever is life-affirming to you is what you need to maximize. What is a drain on your livelihood and worth should be minimized or eradicated.

There you have it. Nothing too painful, nothing too novel. Yet, something tells me that this will be merely dismissed as an 'easier said than done'. I feel vaguely sorry for that. Because you're right, it is easier said than done. But if you value your time you still should do it.

(I swear this column will start being funny and have some fiction soon.)