Thursday, June 3, 2010

Some One-Line Movie Reviews

For every movie that made my top 100 there are more than a dozen critical favorites that don't make the cut. Here are the latest movies I've seen that didn't impress me:


It is better to be a mime than a hedonist.


Once every two hundred years a palooka gets a chance.

In the Mood for Love

Mahjong ruins romance.

Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Gazpacho saves romance.


Anything that interrupts Sarandon's stripping is a monster, and needs be destroyed.

Blue Velvet

Teenagers have it too easy nowadays.


Attractive rich people sing about their problems.

Seduced and Abandoned

Abuse is okay so long as fat men sweat.

The Killing

A regular Jack the Ripper.


Teenagers had it too easy back then.

The Circus

Chaplin finds a waif and is put in perilous situations.

Nights of Cabiria

Prostitutes are very trusting.

The Lady Vanishes

British humour so dry its not funny.

The Bicycle Thief

Poor people are desperate, Italian.

The Palm Beach Story

Attractive rich people whine about their problems.

The Earrings of Madame De...


Gospel According to St. Matthew

Nothing like the book.


Coffins move abruptly.

It Happened One Night

I prefer the walls of Jericho in Iron Man.

Open City

The Catholics didn't support those mean Nazis! Honest!


Bad people do French things.

Road Warrior

Australia's Umberto D.

Strangers on a Train

Why do people think they're gay?

La Strada

I've seen too many movies with mimes recently...

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