36; Flag!

There was a lot of that, and we built up empires - we stole countries! That's what you do, that's how you build an empire. We stole countries with the cunning use of flags! Yeah, just sail around the world and stick a flag in.

"I claim India for Britain!"
They go, "You can't claim us, we live here! 500 million of us!"
"Do you have a flag?"
"We don't need a bloody flag! It's our country, you bastards!"
"No flag, no country, you can't have one! That's the rules that I've just made up..."

That's what Eddie Izzard says on the subject. The Canadian Foreign Minister says "This isn't the 15th Century, you can't go around and just plant flags and say 'We're claiming this territory.'"

Frankly I say it's just rather amusing but what does Santa Claus say about it all?

"I think the Russian's choice to plant a non-rusting titanium flag underwater at the North Pole is a clear territorially ambitious claim and political move that doesn't affect me in the slightest, having moved my operation to the dark side of the moon many years ago. They can have the puddle that was once my Arctic home. Good luck to the Canadians, Americans, Denmark, and Norway who have claims to it. Maybe the Rooskees will make a move on the Antarctic next. But if bitches come to the moon I'll be defending myself. They've been warned."

At which point the jolly old man rocketed off.

Are those "sneaky fucking Russians" making claims on the North Pole, though? Perhaps they are symbolically claiming the Earth. It is the top of the World, after all, everything converges at the poles. Maybe they're just being strategic and moving from top down, using the grid system.
And I apologize for those of you complaining that Russia has come up a lot recently, but frankly they have the news that's most interesting at the moment. Or at least the news that's funniest. I mean, really, who claims the North Pole?

In other news, however, there are ghosts in one of the girl's dorms here. The little 'uns are afraid and all, though I must admit that I may or not have something, without admitting anything, to do with the possibility of any thumps they may or may not have attributed, falsely or otherwise, to supernatural presences.

Ghosts, though, are generally harmless. At least my experiences with them have been. A little contemplative, actually. I think the ghosts I saw were judging me. Darn judgemental ghosts.
Russian ghosts don't contemplate you, though. They just give you material for articles before planting a flag on your head and claiming it's a hat. And then they make all claims to the body below the head. Watch out!